In the town I grew up in, I had zero self esteem. If you weren't under a size 2, you pretty much felt like you weren't worth anything. If you were loud and shared your opinions, you were labeled weird. I still have incredibly low self esteem, because I constantly keep doing things that don't really improve it.
However, since I've been here, I've had multiple people remark to me my lack of self esteem. I never really noticed it before, rather, I never knew that other people actually picked up on it. Was it that apparent? Anyway, I've set my sights on something, and I really hope it'll work out. It scares me a bit though, because it'll require lots of self confidence, and setting my priorities straight. It requires me to choose between sticking with the past, or taking a chance on the future. A week ago, I'd say I want to stick with the past. But now? I think I'm running towards the future.
I can think of one person who I know will be upset with me, but frankly, I don't care anymore. This upsurge of esteem won't allow me to hold onto the past any longer. I need to get over it, and go!
Now I shall digress to another subject. The pajama party was madness. Two people ended up ill (one was my flatmate, so our apartment has reeked all weekend- it's much better now, though), and the rest of us (literally, the rest of us) were hopelessly drunk. It was incredibly fun though! I had a great time, and I met all the guys who lived in the flat it was at. Two of them are really good friends with two of my flatmates, so it was really only a matter of time before I met them. And I love those boys- they're so fun! There's the sarcastic/witty/grumpy one, the adorable/nice one, the quirky/funny one, and the Belgian one I knew already (he's great). And then, like us, they have that one flatmate that gets on their nerves- however, theirs is FAR more amusing than ours. He's this hilarious/strange guy from China, who made us an obscene amount of dumplings today, since I made them all cookies. Apparently he used up a kilogram of flour!!
With the boys and some of my flatmates, we went and did Quiz Night at the local pub. We were average the entire way through, until we ended up tying for first near the end! We ended up in second place, but we got a good lot of free drink vouchers which was AWESOME! We only lost my 1 point. Sad face. But I was so proud of myself, since I got the 'water moccasins' question right. At first I was like: Water shoes! Then I remembered someone telling me about a type of snake with that name, so I was like: IT'S A SNAKE! And I was right, and it was great!
Anyway, gotta rest up. I have psychology tomorrow at 11, then archeology directly afterwards and 12. If psychology runs late, I don't know what I'm going to do!
bye bye!
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